i've been thinking

Some things just make you think. 

Like General Conference, when they announce girls can serve a mission at age 19.  So I've been thinking. 

What do I want in life?

-I want to share my testimony through the way I live.  I want to make others want to know their Father in Heaven and their Savior.  Maybe I want to serve a mission more now than I did before.

-I want to go places where I can make a difference to people, to make their lives better, fulfilling their basic needs or sharing the gospel, or being a friend.

-I want to be able to travel to new places, meet new people, try new things.  I want to teach my kids to love and embrace other cultures.

-I want a house full of kids, driving me crazy and filling me with love.

-I want to marry my best friend and prince charming in the temple.  I want to be in love completely.  I want his favorite parts about me to be my imperfections.

-I want to make someone's life different, especially a kid.  I want to take care of a kid who might not have all the opportunities I could offer.

-I want to make friends wherever I go.  I want true friends.

-I want to be happy.  I want to always remember how blessed and how lucky I am.

-I want to be healthy and teach my kids how to be active and eat right.

-I want to live the gospel and have a strong testimony always.  I want people to know how much I love this church and my God and Savior.

-I want to learn from all my trials and grow from them.

Well, now that I sound all needy and demanding, let me explain a little.  Basically I've just described my perfect life, I know there's a lot on there, and there will probably be more someday.  Things that I think will make my life perfect.  But I know things won't be "perfect".  Because I know that God's perfect plan is so much better than mine.  I know that there will be hard things, and trials, and times that I just want to give up.  But that's the thing.  I know those times will come.  And that's part of what I want to make my life perfect.

So here's the problem.  I have big, semi-unrealistic, dreams.  There's so many things I want to do.  But there are so many more important things that I want and know are more important.

I want to do like 5 study abroads.

I want to do a dozen humantitarian projects.

I want to go on a hundren vacations.

I want to have the perfect, successful career.

I want to go spend my life on an airplane bound for new places.

I want to go live in a village in Africa and teach orphans.

I want to go adopt a needy kid from 8 different countries.

I want to do so much.  And it's all good stuff, but it's just not possible, there's not enough time, enough money, enough me.  And the other thing is, I want that other stuff so much more, and I know that it's what matters most.

So, now I'm sitting here thinking, it seems like I do that a lot, and I'm facing a major decade of decision.

college
mission
marriage
job
children
home

Decisions that will shape, alter, and pave the road to my future. 

There may be some u-turns, some forks, some off-roading, some major highways, some detours, some merging, some ups and downs, some twists and turns.  The road won't always be clear and straight.  I might have to change cars a few times, or get repairs.  There might be construction, or I'll run out of gas.  Maybe I won't be driving the whole time.  But eventually it will all get me to where I'm supposed to go.  It will all shape who I am and determine my purpose and life.

With God's help, I will become who I am meant to be.

So bring on the prayers, the scripture studying, the tears, the stress, the joy, the fullfilment. 

Until next time,

A

"If God is your copilot, switch seats."

-unknown

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost