journey of a lifetime (part II)

july 20

Well, we started today off early when we woke up at 5 AM to swim in the ocean! Unreal.

I love the little, little kids. Yang (I think it is) is a little girls with a big giggle. We played hokey pokey together today and she would not let go of me. Then, after all the lessons she came and played with me again. She stole my sunglasses and made me chase her to get them back. A little while later my other best friend, Duang, came and climbed up on me. A kid on each hip, I can't complain! We ran around and played and they just thought it was so funny to look over and see each other! What a riot.

In the afternoon I went to the old school.  I loved giving piggy back rides and running around and spinning--but mostly just to hear their giggles in my ear.

 

After we went and played soccer with the English camp. As soon as I got off the bus there, Gho (pronounced Yow) ran up to me, grabbed my hands, and went "one, two, three," and jumped up around my waist. Then she squinted her eyes really tight, which is what they do when we spin them in circles, so we spun!

 

 

 

 

I think it is so amazing that not only does this program change their lives in a big or small way, but it changes our lives. I know that for me, I have seen that there is so much more than just focusing on your small section of the world. There are far more issues and blessings in store that I have yet to discover. The best way to start a friendship is to smile and wave. I hope that I never, ever forget the difference I am personally capable of making.

july 21

There is hope! I am finally starting to learn and remember the kids' names! Pronounciation, on the other hand, is a completely different story...

Gho tracked me down pretty quick today. My favorite was this afternoon when I was a group leader she saw me through a window so she came and reached through it and called me name. She grabbed my hand through the window, then the next, then the next, until she got the door and pulled me out and gave me a hug. Later she asked the interpreter to tell me that she wants me to come back tomorrow. It's impossible not to feel loved and happy there!

july 22

Today was great! I started off at the old school doing construction (slash really just playing with the kids). It is so sweet when the kids just come up to you and lean on you and put their arms around you. At any given time I probably had at least three kids wanting to be carried. There was a little boy in a red shirt who became my buddy for the day. When I was kneeling so the girls could do my hair, him and three of his buddies just came over and hugged me. We just sat there hugging for like 10 or 15 minutes.

 

I've noticed that the way to almost everyone's hearts is through the children. I think it must be because of their innocence and simplicity. Kids have a way of looking at problems in a way that seems more manageable. They have taught me that maybe most problems can be solved starting with a smile. And hugs finish the job in the end.

Tonight we had a sort of thankimony, reflecting on the trip so far. Justin pointed out that between the two teams that have been here over the last month, there have been about 80 Americans. The last time there were 80 Americans here was during the war. What a difference. In the reasons, ideas, reactions, and feelings. We really truly are breaking down massive barriers.

july 23

Today was such a great day. I went to a "special project" we were invited to. We stopped on the side of the road, crossed the street, and ended up hiking up a trail that led to a village tucked away in the mountains. It was the first time I really, really noticed the simple and humble way these people live.  We were told to start helping move piles of dirt to make a road. But...they needed people to volunteer to play with the kids. Begrudgingly I went...okay really I was pretty excited!

This experience was a lot different than meeting with the other schools the first time. Like the other schools, the kids were super shy at first, but unlike the other schools, these village kids had never seen a white person before. They were very tentative and looked confused any time we got close to them. I was worried they wouldn't warm up and was really missing my school kids, but decided to make the best of it before running off in self-pity to move piles of sand. Eventually they did warm up to us and it became one of  my favorite experiences of the week.

 

 

I've discovered the way to a little kid's heart is by tickling, which leads to holding, and then tickling while holding, and spinning, and eventually hanging upside down from your arms, all topped off with a precious kiss.  Kid's innocence is refreshing, their shy, or outrageous giggles are infections, their smiles irresistible, and their hugs and kisses are priceless and unforgettable. As we build relationships with them, not only do we build bridges with their generation, we break down barriers with the older generations.

As I was leaving and saying goodbye, three of the older girls came over and were asking me something. I obviously couldn't understand them at all, so they tried to speak English. I got "walk" and "won" and pointing to where we had been playing. The true interpretation: they were wondering if I would coming back later! So I have to make sure I get to go back tomorrow!

july 24

Happy Pioneer Day, Utah! Okay, Joanna just pointed out that we haven't even thought about pioneers all day. Well that's cause we were so busy. And in Vietnam, not Utah. It's not quite as big of a deal here.

Anyway...I got to go back to road construction today! We handed out little packs of crayons and construction paper, which the kids loved. So did some adults. A cute man (weird that I just called him cute, I just adore everyone here so they are all cute...) but a cute manly man came over and colored a picture as well.

 

One of the highlights of my day was when Hung made me actually go do construction and work (which I almost haven't done any of the whole trip, if you haven't noticed). I had a little fan club following me around and cheering me on as I ran wheel barrows full of cement up and down the hill. They kept asking if I was tired yet (their hint that I should go back and play, but honestly I don't know which job is more exhausting!)

While I was helping with construction, it was neat to see how the people worked together so harmoniously and just fill in wherever help is needed. The men were so impressed when I would come dump cement, up and down , up and down.

After I finished working, I went back to play with a little trail of kids. My sweet little baby fell asleep on me. Snoring and everything! I died. Again as I was leaving, the kids came running over and asked if I was coming back later, or tomorrow. I had to say no and it broke my heart. They followed me out and said goodbye. All waving from the top of the hill, and then running down to wave at the bus door.

 

journey of a lifetime (part I)

july 14

Well. It's the day I've been waiting for! I'm on my way to Vietnam!

Flight to China. Fourteen hours.  That's all that really needs to be said.

One of the neatest things was lifting the window shade during the night and seeing the stars.  It was so cool! Magical, really.

july 15

Holy heck. This place is amazing.

The layover in China was horribly long. It was crazy. Crazy boring that is. But we survived. From there we flew to Ho Chi Minh City (also called Saigon). On that flight I had the CUTEST little Chinese girl sitting next to me. At the beginning of the flight I was trying to fall asleep and then randomly felt something petting my hair--yes, it was her. She then became my best friend and started chattering away in Chinese. She kept looking at me like I should understand what she was saying, but obviously I had no idea so I just smiled and nodded.

So let me set the stage for when we arrived in Vietnam: dark, evening, so tired, hungry. There are no rules about driving here. You can do just about anything, go in any direction, go any speed, or get as close to anything as you want, so long as you honk. Oh and there are so many scooters (aka motor bikes). The country is infested with them. Anyway, it's really neat to see how things work together regardless of who or where you are.

So despite being so tired we walked through the rain to go to dinner. It was so good! One girl got stir-fry and they brought her out a plate of fries stirred around in soy sauce. So funny. On our way home, Justin led us through an alley to show us the apartment he lived in when he came to teach English. When we walked through the alley we were basically walking through people's houses. It was like every house was missing a wall and we could see what was going on inside. Kinda cool! I can't imagine what they were thinking when 40 white people started walking through... 
 

 
 
july 16
 

We went to the Cu Chi tunnels and war memorial museum today. At the Co Chi tunnels we basically learned about how the Vietnamese killed Americans. The American Enemy Killing Heroes and such. It was horrible. Then we crawled through the tunnels. They were hot. Plain and simple. Hot.
 
After the tunnels we went to the war memorial museum. It was worse. I have never felt ashamed or embarrassed to be American before. Agent Orange, a toxic spray released to kill the jungles so we could see camps of soldiers to kill. It left so many awful effects. Burns, deformities, death, birth defects, and the problems still continue today. It's sad to think of all the people who faced those problems as a witness and through first hand experience. It's disappointing to think of the people who took pictures and walked away without doing anything. It's scary to think of what the US has done, is doing, and is capable of doing that I don't know about. The experience was very eye opening although sad. It was humbling to see things through the eyes of the "enemy"--who is really just another type of living, normal people.
 

 
july 17

After an overnight, longest ever, 12 hour train ride, we made it to Song Cau!

Let me skip to the good parts. We went out exploring and found the cutest little family! 3 girls, mom, dad, and grandma. The littlest was just learning how to walk and loved blowing/eating bubbles. The mom just loved showing off her kids.

 

We also had out opening ceremonies. Oh my gosh! I love the kids! At first they were really shy, but by the end we were all laughing and taking pictures and giving high fives. This week is full of promise of fun and memories!

july 18

This morning I taught my English lesson on emotions.  After my lesson a cute little girl stayed and helped me clean up. Darling I had a few kids who stayed during all my lessons. I pulled out balloons and bubbles and the kids just LOVED them so much.  Oh my. I sound like a crazy person, but this place is the best.

 

 

During our three hour lunch break there was a big rainstorm so we went on the roof and danced in the rain. Does it get any better? I think not.

 

LATER: Okay. It gets way better.

This has been the best day of my life.  After lunch I went back up to the school.  All the kids came running when the bus pulled in. They ran up waving and calling out "hello, hello" and lined up outside the door of the bus to say hi and give us high fives.

Okay, embarrassing moment of the day. We were playing tag and I was being chased, so, of course, I ran away. Right into the thick black cord holding the tarp up. I ran into it so hard that the cord snapped in half and my head jerked back. Oh my. So embarrassing. To top it off, I had been tagged so I then had to chase everyone. So great. Let me tell you.

Oh so flashback to this morning. A kid pooped in my English lesson. Yup. That's all.

Um so dinner was awesome. I accidentally ate squid. Enough said.

After dinner we went into town on a search for ice cream. And then. We saw dancing. And decided to join. It ended up being a charity event for the Red Cross. So we ended up being able to dance with the kids. Priceless.

And now. The best part.

So the cute girl who had grabbed me to dance with her ran over and pulled me aside as we were leaving. She led me off to the side where it was lit up and more quiet and pressed a little gift into my hand. She then gave me a hug and ran off.  The gift was a little necklace/whistle thing. Best ever.

july 19

I still don't know how to describe my feelings in this place. It's like no moment is the same and every moment is the best. No one moment is better than another because they are all part of a whole set of feelings. Here in Vietnam, I feel whole.

Despite the language barrier, the relationships we are building are real and strong. I can feel and see it when the kids run down to the bus to greet us. When they hug us, sit on our laps, copy what we do, and blow kisses as we ride away on the bus.

It's so fun to see the kids start opening up and seeing their personalities come out. One of my favorite parts of the afternoon was a little boy and little girl (gosh I wish I knew their names!) were the last two standing in musical chairs and ended up playing tug-o-war with the stool. It only ended when the boy kicked (not unkindly) the girl away. So funny!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once again we walked around town--our main intent, more ice cream.  While we were getting ice cream we met up with Hoa, one of the police from the friends and family team. Here's how our conversation went.

Hoa: "Hi, what is your name?"

Me" "Alyssa, what's yours?"

Hoa: "Hoa, H-O-A. How old are you?"

Me: "18, how old are you?"

Hoa: "22, do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: "No, do you have a girlfriend?"

Hoa: "You are beautiful, get boyfriend."

Haha, not sure if that was a compliment or if he was hitting on me...

So as we were walking through the same courtyard as yesterday, I felt a small tap on my back and heard a little voice say, "Hello, Olyssa?" Guess who?! My favorite little girl from yesterday! She noticed me wearing the whistle and got so exited when I blew it!

my infallible truth

So I, along with all the other seniors in my ward, was asked to speak in church today.  Like usual, I really procrastinated writing my talk.  Which left me with a blank Word document at 11 AM this morning, needing to be on the stand at 12:50.  I had less than two hours, not included time needed to shower and get ready.  Now normally this isn't an issue for me.  I actually really like to write talks and speak in church.  But for some reason, I just could not receive any inspiration this morning.

So, I went to my parents, hoping for some team brainstorming ideas.  Nothing.  Until...my dad said something really impactful.  Something I really needed to hear.  Something I needed to hear so bad I started crying when he said it.  It was just a gentle reminder.  He told me that he loves listening to me talk about the scriptures.  He told me that he knows, and that I know, that I have a testimony of them.  He told me that I know far more than he did at my age, and that I probably know more than most people my age.  "Just look at your scriptures," he said, "they're filled and falling apart."

And so that's what I want to share today.  My infallible truth.  What I know, and what I will never forget.  The truth is, I haven't been as good at reading them lately.  And I can tell.  It's almost to a point that I have felt physically drained.  But, I still know they are true.  And how I have been feeling is just another testament to that.  No one could convince me that the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Bible, and Pearl of Great Price are not divine and true.  I know that they are.

So, I want to tell you what I said in church today.

I want to talk about Peter.  He is one of my favorite people in the scriptures, because I think that we can all relate to him.  In October Conference of 2012, Elder Holland spoke about “The First Great Commandment”.  Let me set the stage here.  Christ has died and the apostles are unsure about what to do next.  They turn to Peter who is the head apostle, and he suggests going fishing.  So they go back in time and become fishers, and like on the night of their first encounter with Christ, they are unable to catch any fish.  Now since Elder Holland can tell the story much better than I can, I’m going to quote some of his talk.

(After an unsuccessful night fishing…) "[The apostles] disappointedly turned toward the shore, where they saw in the distance a figure who called out to them, 'Children, have you caught anything?' Glumly these Apostles-turned-again-fishermen gave the answer no fisherman wants to give. 'We have caught nothing,' they muttered, and to add insult to injury, they were being called 'children.'

"'Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find,' the stranger calls out—and with those simple words, recognition begins to flood over them."

Now, let me pause and ask you a question.  And I want you to really think about it, don't just read the words.  What does it take for you to recognize Christ?  Think about that while you continue reading.

"Just three years earlier these very men had been fishing on this very sea. On that occasion too they had 'toiled all the night, and [had] taken nothing,' the scripture says. But a fellow Galilean on the shore had called out to them to let down their nets, and they drew 'a great multitude of fishes,' enough that their nets broke, the catch filling two boats so heavily they had begun to sink.

"Now it was happening again. These 'children,' as they were rightly called, eagerly lowered their net, and 'they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.' John said the obvious: 'It is the Lord.' And over the edge of the boat, the irrepressible Peter leaped."

Pausing again.  Now, Elder Holland does not elaborate on this “leap”, but I want to stop and consider it for a moment.  Hearing and recognizing the Savior’s voice, Peter becomes so excited that he “leaps” over the boat and begins to swim to the Savior.  He was that excited and eager to see his Lord again.  Ok, so sort of crazy, right?  I would think that the other apostles who had stayed on the boat made it to shore and their reunion with Christ before Peter did.  Maybe his leap wasn’t really that beneficial.  But Peter’s eagerness sets him apart in this story.  Think again.  How eager are you to please the Savior?  What would you do to meet his will and come to him? 

Continuing with Elder Holland's narrative.

"Gesturing to the 153 fishes, Jesus said to His senior Apostle, 'Peter, do you love me more than you love all this?' Peter said, 'Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.'

"The Savior responds to that reply but continues to look into the eyes of His disciple and says again, 'Peter, do you love me?' Undoubtedly confused a bit by the repetition of the question, the great fisherman answers a second time, 'Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.'

"The Savior again gives a brief response, but with relentless scrutiny He asks for the third time, 'Peter, do you love me?' By now surely Peter is feeling truly uncomfortable. Perhaps there is in his heart the memory of only a few days earlier when he had been asked another question three times and he had answered equally emphatically—but in the negative. Or perhaps he began to wonder if he misunderstood the Master Teacher’s question. Or perhaps he was searching his heart, seeking honest confirmation of the answer he had given so readily, almost automatically.

"Whatever his feelings, Peter said for the third time, 'Lord, … thou knowest that I love thee.'

"To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: 'Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do.'"

Elder Holland concludes, "My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: 'Did you love me?' I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.'"

So now, I want you to think of your answers to my questions.  What does it take for you to recognize Christ?  How eager are you to meet his will?  Would you leap off the boat to follow him?  And finally, in your conversation with God, could you reply “Yea, Lord”? Did you feed his sheep? 

At the end of John 21 verse 19, Christ simply says, “follow me.”  He has given us the perfect example to follow.  We must “feed his sheep” through missions, examples, testimony, faith, endurance.  We must defend our faith.

I believe that if you will follow Christ and surrender your life to him, he will mold you into what HE needs YOU to be.  I know that sometimes I may jump off the boat and be so eager to seek after Christ that things don’t go quite according to plan and I arrive later than intended, or have skipped a step so things aren't perfect.  But I also know that my love for Him can enable to be molded by His will and His plan.

But maintaining that faith is not always so easy, is it?  Let me share another story about Peter.  

We’ve all heard the story in Matthew 14:22-33, there’s a bit of a storm outside and the disciples are struggling through it on the sea during the night when suddenly they see a figure walking on the water.  They cry out in fear and Christ responds, “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid”.  Christ beckons to Peter and Peter walks on water, one of the many miracles in the New Testament.  Yet, despite the miracle and obvious faith Peter must have had to accomplish it, he becomes afraid and begins to sink. 

I imagine that Peter, who had so much faith in Jesus that he could walk on water, perhaps took his gaze off of Christ for just a moment and succumbed to the “boisterous” winds around him.  Like Peter, I know at times my focus wavers, and I lose sight of my rock and redeemer in the midst of the temptations and business of the world.  I think maybe we all do.  

Another thing I found especially important in this set of scriptures was in verse 25, it says “And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea”.  My bishop pointed once that the fourth watch is the early hours of the morning, from about 3 to 6 AM.  Likely the storm had been going for many, many hours already, and it wasn’t like Jesus was oblivious to it.  In fact, he was very aware of it.  He purposely came during the fourth watch.

In Ether 12:6 it says, "And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

I believe that Christ comes to us in the fourth watch of our trials, when we are most tired and exhausted, to lift our burdens.  He will come to us after we have learned what we need to from our experience.

One last thought about Peter. In verse 31, after Peter calls out to Christ as he is sinking, Christ “immediately...stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt.”

Christ immediately reached out to Peter when he saw he was in the most need.  He did not hesitate; he saved Peter, just like he has saved all of us.  He waited until Peter had struggled through his trial and done his best and called for help and in that he learned an important lesson.  

I know that it is in my darkest hours when I pray the hardest and have the most faith in Christ.  It is in those hours of the fourth watch that he is able to work the greatest miracles in me.  Like Peter, who was in one moment full of faith, and in the next fearful, I struggle to be strong always, but I know that if I endure to the end, Christ can do great things in my life and allow me to “walk on water”.  I have yet to experience a fourth watch which does not end with Christ calling and reaching out to save me.

I know that the scriptures are true.  I know that God lives and loves us.  I know that because of the atonement I can not only repent and return to Christ, but that I also have an ally to give me strength and comfort when I am weak.  That I have a Savior who will push me as far as I can go, and then pull me back in a warm and loving embrace.

I want to share my favorite scripture.  D&C 50:40-44.

40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.

41 Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;

42 And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.

43 And the Father and I are one. I am in the Father and the Father in me; and inasmuch as ye have received me, ye are in me and I in you.

44 Wherefore, I am in your midst, and I am the good shepherd, and the stone of Israel.  He that buildeth upon the rock shall never fall.

Christ has overcome the world for me.  He will guide, love, and protect me despite what I made Him suffer.  And He will do the same for you.

One final thought.  Never forget His love and devotion to you.  Never forget what you know.  Be diligent in who you are and keep your eye on the Savior.  D&C 6:23 says, "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?"  Remember what you know.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Until next time, 

A

get home safely

The world sucks sometimes.  Plain and simple.  Sometimes the world just sucks.

People get sick.  Or die.  They stray from what they are supposed to do.  And sometimes you just can't help them.  You want to tell them exactly what they need to do. 

wake up
come back
don't leave me
be who I remember you being
keep fighting
don't let go. 

You want to say what they need to hear to snap back into place, but that usually doesn't make a difference.  Everyone is fighting their own fight.  Everyone has their own battles and challenges, and you and I can't really do anything to fix them or make them go away.  We love them, tell them what we think, and do our best to help, but we can only do so much until we end up on the side-line watching them live their lives in a way that we may or may not agree with.

Sometimes I feel like my biggest trials are other's trials.  Not to say that I don't have my own tough times, but sometimes it seems like I spend more time trying to help others through their hard times than I do on mine.  (And I wouldn't have that any other way!  I would so so much rather help others than focus on myself.)  The heartbreaking thing for me is that there always comes a point where I can't help my friends or family with their burdens anymore.  A point where what I say doesn't make a difference, where they stop listening.  It's like watching a romance movie and knowing that if the main character would just turn around they would be reunited with their true love or something.  In life sometimes you just know that if someone would do what you told them to, they would be okay.  That's not how it works though.  It's up to each individual to find their own way through their own individually designed experiences and trials.

Last Sunday at church, my teacher brought up the classic church phrase we say in prayers, "bless that we will all get home safely".  Think of the significance of that for a moment.  Maybe you can already guess where I'm going with this.

1) The fact that so many children and adults alike say that in the end of their prayers shows the simple, yet great faith they have.  Faith that God is watching over them in their most simple actions and moments.  They have faith that God will physically watch over them as they "drive or walk home in safety".  How amazing is that?  God is in our daily lives, in all of the mundane little details!  Driving home from church is not a big deal, but it's the basis of our childhood faith, and as ridiculous as it sounds, God will watch over us and allow us to "get home safely".  And think, really.  I can't number the times that I have gotten that simple, no-big-deal reply to a text, or that smile in the hallway, or that song on Pandora that makes all the difference.  That simple little thing that holds me together when I'm feeling down.  That is God helping me in that little mundane moment.

2) In the context we were talking about it in Sunday school, we were talking about the faith of the pioneers.  They may well have prayed to "get home safely" to their Zion, their home in Utah.  Although many of them did not make it, they had faith that God would not let them go before their time.  One of my favorite quotes from a pioneer woman is, "The price we paid to become closer to God was a privilege to pay."  She was part of the Martin Handcart Company.  She had just buried two of her babies.  And she looked her trials in the face and felt privileged.  I am in awe of her faith.  I don't even know that she made it to Utah, but she felt privileged.  Are you kidding me?  Amazing.  I wish I could have that faith.  I wish I could give that faith to my friends and family who are struggling right now.  Somehow that faith seems like something only the angels above could have.  Yet I know it is attainable, and so I will continue to pray that God will help me "get home safely" through my trials, that I may recognize how privileged I am to know that each one brings me closer to God.

3) Ultimately, I know that my eternal goal is to "get home safely" to God in Heaven and have a place with Him.  Each time we pray, we are asking God to help us "get home" to Him.  How happy must that make Him?  That we wish to join Him again?  A woman in my ward once spoke about how she had remained strong during trials and explained that she felt God had given her some trials multiple times because she hadn't learned all she needed to the first time.  Had she only experienced sorrow and heartbreak once, she wouldn't have been capable of learning all the different lessons about herself and life that she had through all of her struggles.  She said she sometimes felt her whole life was a series of never-ending trials, but that she had faith that God was simply preparing her to return to Him, worthy and humble.  I think that the pure essence of faith is believing that no matter what Earth and Hell throw at you, you can make it though because God has placed you where you are and made you who you are so that you can fulfill a much greater purpose.

I guess that I wish a smile, hug, and/or band-aid could still fix every problem under the sun.  But it doesn't.  Those things might help, but in the life of a teenage girl, kind words, the truth, and prayers sometimes aren't even enough.  You just have to endure to the end and have faith that God will "help you get home safely".  Because He will.

I'm still in awe of how God places people in my life for me to help and to help me every day.  So, on those days when you feel weighted down by yours and others trials and burdens, say a prayer, smile, get up, and keep going.  You might not win every battle, but you will win the war.  And remember, sometimes a good hug is still the best medicine for a bad day. 

I pray that we can all "get home safely".

Until next time,

A

 

 

 

exist

So, I've come to a conclusion.  We are here to do MORE than just exist.

I do not exist to impress the world.  I think that there is so much more to life than simply living according to what the magazines and movies tell us is the perfect life.  Hate to break it to you, but that won't make you happy.  You'll probably just end up chasing after what is made up and unachievable.  Truth is, there is so much more to life than just living according to someone else's standards.  Everyone needs to find that one thing that will make them happy.  That one thing that will enrich their life.

For me, it's living to try and make someone else's life better.  It seems like there are so many people who are literally only existing..because that's all they can do.  They are starving, or disabled, or homeless, or dying.  Alone and without help. 

And what are so many other , capable people doing?  Existing.  Because they can.  Because they don't think they need to do more.  Or maybe they just don't know how.  Either way, they aren't just existing because that's all they can do, it's because it's all they are willing to do.  And hey, I'm not perfect. Sometimes that's me too.  But I'm trying not to let myself become someone who is so self-absorbed that all I care about is my next boyfriend or shopping spree.

So, think.  What makes you happy?  For me, it's frozen yogurt with my friends, or my grandma's hot cocoa at Christmas with my cousins, or volunteering with my refugees, or going on a run or cooking dinner with my sister.  It's things that I do with other people.  Our lives aren't just our own.  Everything we do influences someone else, somehow.  And when we do something to bring happiness to someone else, we can't help but be happy ourselves.

And like I said, I'm not perfect.  Someone might look at me on a bad day and say, "hang on, you like to talk to other people?"  So here's my confession, sometimes I just get in a funk.  Where I get caught up in that stereotype about what the world thinks I should do and have.  A perfect body.  A cute boyfriend.  A nice car.  To go to the gym everyday, or to not go, but still somehow be healthy.  Time.  Money.  All my homework done at a reasonable hour.  Fifty clubs and teams.  Acceptance to a prestigious college with a full ride scholarship.

But what do those things really matter in the long run??  20 years from now are my high school classmates going to care where I went to college?  Or if I could do a push up?  Or that I sometimes pulled all-nighters to get my homework done?  NO!  They (hopefully) won't even remember if I did/didn't do those things.  What they will remember is if I walked down the halls with a smile on my face.  If I would compliment them.  Or talk to them.  They will remember how I made them feel.

Those things people remember about you are the things that you do for them.  Not the things you do for yourself.  And the things you do for others, are the things you do when you're not in a me me me funk.

So how do you stay out of those stupid funks?

You live for more than yourself.

I'm happy when I'm helping (isn't that how the primary song goes?).  I feel good after I help a friend on a bad day.  I'm happy when I tell a refugee she's so much better than the bullies at school say.  I'm happy when a little kid I babysit says they missed me.  And I hate when I feel like I'm useless.  That's when it really becomes all about me.  When I get into a funk.

So, moral of the story.  Do what makes you happy.  Happiness is infectious.  Live for more than yourself.  Do more than exist. 

Find what makes you happy, and embrace it!

Until next time,

A

2012

A YEAR IN REVIEW

ZUPAS

DISNEY ON ICE

JAZZ GAMES

BYU GAMES

BOSTON/NEW YORK/PENNSYLVANIA

FESTIVAL OF COLOR

DIRTY DASH

CANCER CAMP

SUANG

GIRLS CAMP

BEAR LAKE

RODEO

GREAT MOVIES

THE ZOO

OLYMPICS

CHURCH HISTORY SITES

EFY NAUVOO

STARTING SENIOR YEAR

HOMECOMING NOMINEE

DANCES
most of which weren't my own ;)

VIETNAMESE PARTIES

YOUTHLINC

HEFY

MISSION AGE

NEWPORT BEACH/DISNEYLAND

BIG A SHOW

COUNTRY DANCING

COLLEGE APPS AND ACCEPTANCES

SURVIVING THE END OF THE WORLD

LIVING THIS CRAZY THING WE CALL LIFE!

This has been an amazing year.  The people, the places, the feelings.  All irreplaceable.  I have done some of the greatest things.  Met some of the greatest people.  Made some friends, lost some friends.  Witnessed heartbreak and love.  And become (I hope!) a better person.  I have come closer to God and grown into myself better.  I have started to learn what life really is all about.  And I absolutely cannot wait to see what this new year will bring! 

 

Until next time,

A